Why I Stopped Sharing My Personal Life: The Truth About People Who Listen to Respond, Not to Understand

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Are you someone who struggles to open up? And when you finally do, you're met with people who listen just to respond rather than to understand. If so, you’re not alone.

I encountered this so often that I eventually stopped sharing my personal business altogether—at least, not in real-time. Instead, I only talked about my experiences after going through them, processing them, and healing. This was not because I didn’t want support but because I realized that many people aren’t genuinely listening to help; they’re listening to compare, judge, or satisfy their curiosity.

The Danger of Sharing with the Wrong People

At this stage in life, I’ve learned that no good advice can come from someone who isn’t happy in their own life. It’s a harsh truth but a necessary one. Many of us are surrounded by people who present themselves as put together, yet their lives are in complete shambles behind closed doors.

You start to notice this pattern when they finally get comfortable enough to share their truth—usually after you’ve already been vulnerable with them. As long as you stay quiet, they stay quiet. But the moment you open up, they start prying, trying to see if you're on the same level of struggle as they are.

The Unhealthy Cycle of Trauma Bonding

Sadly, many people bond over trauma rather than healing. They connect through shared pain but have no intention of growing past it. So, while you’re focused on healing, changing, and evolving, they assume you’re the same person they met years ago.

What’s even more disheartening is when those same people criticize your choices, telling you what you should have done—only for you to later find out that they’re currently going through the same situation in real-time. It makes you think: So you weren’t giving advice… you were projecting.

And that explains why my spirit resisted what they were saying.

Trust Your Intuition & Protect Your Peace

If you feel off when someone offers you advice, trust your intuition. Your intuition knows when words are coming from a place of projection rather than wisdom. Not everyone deserves access to your vulnerability.

Healing teaches you that your energy is sacred, and not everyone who asks about your life should have a front-row seat to it. Some people want your story not to support you but to compare or gossip. And some people are only interested in your struggles, not your victories.

Final Thoughts: Be Selective With Who You Share With

If you constantly feel unheard or misunderstood, it may be time to reevaluate who you share your heart with. Not everyone is meant to hold your truth. Some people listen just to respond, but the right ones will listen to understand.

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