The Truth About Destiny Swapping: How Some Men Steal Your Energy & Leave You Drained

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I had never heard the term destiny swapping before, but everything clicked once I learned what it was.

What Is Destiny Swapping?

Destiny swapping occurs when someone siphons another person’s energy, success, and drive, slowly taking on their best qualities while leaving them depleted. It happens subtly, over time, and often by those closest to us. While both men and women can do this, men seem to get away with it more easily because society often enables them to take, take, and take without accountability.

We already know that women are the creators of life, but what’s not often discussed is how powerful our energy truly is. It’s the force that nurtures, builds, and sustains. And unfortunately, some men recognize this and seek out thriving, vibrant, and emotionally strong women—not to love them but to become them.

My Personal Experience with Destiny Swapping

I was thriving—mentally, emotionally, financially. I loved life and loved myself. Then he came along, and I thought this was the missing piece to my happiness, like so many women. But years into it, the roles reversed. I found myself overweight, depressed, with low self-esteem while he was flourishing.

At first, I didn’t notice how calculated it was. He seemed supportive initially, showing interest in everything I loved—until he didn’t. He would downplay my passions, make me feel like I was doing too much, and slowly discourage me from the things that brought me joy.

When we met, I was a vegetarian, focused on my health, and committed to my well-being. Yet, he constantly negated everything I was learning about my body and nutrition. He’d casually bring me fast food, presenting it as a sweet gesture when, in reality, it was his way of pulling me away from my discipline.

Then, two miscarriages, weight gain, and declining self-worth later—he was the healthy one. Suddenly, he was the one meal-prepping, talking about holistic health, living a life I had introduced him to, while I was left feeling broken and lost. I had never had medical issues before, but by the time I woke up, I had developed high blood pressure. I barely recognized the woman staring back at me in the mirror.

It wasn’t just physical. He chipped away at my purpose, too. I used to coach, something I loved and was passionate about. I had one simple boundary: I asked him not to interrupt my sessions. Yet, he constantly walked in, pretending he just had to see me, dressing up his disrespect as affection. The interruptions grew so frequent and frustrating that I eventually stopped coaching altogether.

And the moment I stopped? He started talking about how he could be a mentor.

Signs He’s Trying to Swap Destinies With You

If this sounds familiar, you may be dealing with a destiny swapper. Here are a few telltale signs:

1️⃣ He subtly discourages you from doing what you love.

  • He once loved that you were ambitious, creative, or passionate, but now he makes you feel like you're “too much” or that it “doesn’t take all that.”

2️⃣ He pushes his bad habits onto you.

  • If you’re focused on your health, he suddenly brings fast food. If you prioritize peace, he introduces chaos.

3️⃣ He emotionally manipulates you into exhaustion.

  • He will trigger you, pick fights, or disrespect your boundaries to drain your energy. Then, when you're too exhausted to pour into yourself, he steps in and thrives.

4️⃣ He mirrors your best qualities and makes them his own.

  • Everything you once loved, he now embodies—after he’s made sure you no longer have the strength to enjoy it.

How to Reclaim Your Destiny

The moment I became aware of what was happening, I took my power back. Here’s what worked for me:

✔️ Pray and repent. Your energy and destiny are yours—reclaim them.
✔️ Decree and declare that no one can take what belongs to you.
✔️ Call back your energy from him, his family, friends, and anyone else he’s been involved with. (Yes, they are usually serial cheaters.)
✔️ Cut off sexual ties. Who you sleep with affects you spiritually—his burdens, debts, and energy become yours.
✔️ Start doing what you love again. Reignite your passions, goals, and the habits that made you who you are.
✔️ Stop telling him your plans. No one can sabotage what they don’t know.

Final Thoughts

Had I not woken up, I would have completely lost myself. I now understand that I was never the problem—he saw my light and wanted it for himself.

To the women reading this: If you’ve felt drained, lost, or disconnected from the things that once made you happy, pay attention. Some men are not looking for love; they are looking for an energy source.

Protect your power. Reclaim your destiny. And never let anyone convince you that you are too much.

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