Alone in the Dark: My Awakening to True Evil

I had always heard about people who feed off the pain of others, but I never imagined I would come face to face with one. The internet is flooded with think pieces on narcissism, but reading about it is one thing—living it is another. For years, my experiences remained locked away, shared only in the safety of my therapist’s office. At first, I didn’t think anyone would believe me. And honestly, wrapping my mind around what I had endured was just as grueling.

But as I continue to share my story, I find myself peeling back layer after layer, exposing the reality of something we often refuse to call by its proper name: evil. We label toxic behavior, manipulation, and gaslighting as red flags, but we stop short of recognizing what it is. Because what else can you call it when someone thrives off your suffering?

The Beginning of the Breakdown

When we met, I was at the top of my game—healing, thriving, accomplishing goals, and truly living. I had everything I desired except love. And when he arrived, I thought maybe, just maybe, this was the missing piece. It took me three years to see the truth: this man had been tearing me down in the most subtle, calculated ways, draining me of everything I had worked for.

Looking back, the signs were there. He seemed irritated by my joy, constantly complaining about what made me happy. I loved to read—he ruined that. The relationship became so stressful that I found myself sleeping more and more, mentally and emotionally drained. And yet, instead of concern, he complained about me being in bed too much.

But when I hit rock bottom? That’s when he flourished.

As I lost myself—gaining weight, abandoning my goals, sinking into unhappiness—he was suddenly at his best. He started reading books, prioritizing his health, setting goals, and landing better-paying jobs. He was thriving while I was drowning. It was as if my suffering was fueling his success.

The Awakening

The day it finally clicked was like being struck by lightning. I had spent so much time feeling guilty, questioning if I was the problem, wondering why I had changed so much. But then the pieces started falling into place. He had never truly supported me—he had fed off my downfall.

When I was happy, he was miserable. When I was broken, he was suddenly the best partner in the world. And that was no coincidence. It was by design.

I had read so much about narcissism, but I had never come across this—this sadistic need to see someone unravel. He didn’t just manipulate or gaslight me; he thrived in my pain.

That realization was my turning point.

Reclaiming My Light

Waking up from that kind of darkness isn’t easy. Healing after a relationship like that means confronting the ways you were broken, forgiving yourself for not seeing the signs sooner, and finding the strength to rebuild. I am still putting the pieces back together, but now I see him—and people like him—for what they are.

This isn’t just my story. Too many people have lived through this, questioning their reality and feeling isolated in their suffering. If this resonates with you, know you are not alone and can rise again.

We call everything evil but evil. But the truth is, anyone who finds joy in your pain is exactly that. And the best thing you can do? Take your light back.

Have you ever experienced someone draining your energy and thriving while you suffered? Let’s discuss it because awareness is the first step toward freedom.