Unaltered Voices

PSA: If someone believes lies about you without seeking clarity, they do NOT like you. Period. I’ve learned that I don’t owe explanations to those who are quick to assume the worst. Whether it’s family, coworkers, friends, or even former church members—they can stand on whatever narrative helps them sleep at night. My actions have been consistent, and that’s what matters to me. This story is about a situation I found myself in—one I had nothing to do with—and how it helped me recognize a repeated pattern in my life. The Job That Should Have Been a Red Flag For a brief time, I worked at a hotel in the city. The day I walked in to inquire about open positions, I was hired on the spot. In hindsight, that should’ve been my first red flag. At that time, I was in a difficult place emotionally and financially. I needed a job desperately, and I wasn’t getting much support from anyone, not even those in my own household. I was expected to fix everything, yet when I was broken, no one had the t...

Recognizing that I was a placeholder was disheartening. How did a man put forth so much effort only for me to discover he was waiting for his ex to take him back? I was hurt and felt as though I had accepted this behavior once too many times. He checked every box I desired in a mate and a few extra things my then-relationship coach taught me to look for. I even asked how his last relationship ended but concluded it was his answer I did not fully dissect.  I should have noted the answer or his body language when asked. I did not clock the tea, so I was caught off guard. Fast forward, I am dealing with the same thing but in a platonic relationship. I recall the breakdown between this person and one of her other friends, but I did not know to be on guard like I would now in my romantic relationships. I had no idea I could be a placeholder in a friendship, too. I rarely open myself to friendships, considering what I have experienced at the hands of women. Still, I did and ended up sitt...

I had always heard about people who feed off the pain of others, but I never imagined I would come face to face with one. The internet is flooded with think pieces on narcissism, but reading about it is one thing— living it is another. For years, my experiences remained locked away, shared only in the safety of my therapist’s office. At first, I didn’t think anyone would believe me. And honestly, wrapping my mind around what I had endured was just as grueling. But as I continue to share my story, I find myself peeling back layer after layer, exposing the reality of something we often refuse to call by its proper name: evil . We label toxic behavior, manipulation, and gaslighting as red flags, but we stop short of recognizing what it is. Because what else can you call it when someone thrives off your suffering? The Beginning of the Breakdown When we met, I was at the top of my game— healing, thriving, accomplishing goals, and truly living. I had everything I desired except love. And w...

Family is often seen as the foundation of unconditional love and support, but what happens when that support is selectively given? This question has been a recurring theme in my life, and reflecting on it has been both painful and eye-opening. I’ve always struggled because my family often chose to uplift those who weren’t putting in the effort while leaving me unsupported. It wasn’t just about being overlooked—it felt like a constant attack on my life and the goals I was striving to achieve. One moment stands out vividly: my mother proudly attended my cousin’s graduation, celebrating her accomplishments, but didn’t bother to come to mind when I graduated from Delta College. That hurt deeply, but it wasn’t the only instance. My aunt, for example, frequently boasts about paying all the bills in the family house to support my cousin simply because she has a baby. It’s as if having a child excuses everything else, no matter what questionable actions she’s taken. Meanwhile, I was left feeli...