Unaltered Voices

Friendships should be a safe space where you feel supported, uplifted, and celebrated. But not all friendships are built on genuine connections. Some people enter your life not to pour into you but to drain you. They want to dim your light, chip away at your confidence, and keep you beneath them. These are narcissistic friendships ; if you’ve ever felt like a “friend” was more of an opponent, you may have experienced one firsthand. At first, their behavior may seem subtle—a backhanded compliment here, an odd reaction to your success there. But over time, the pattern becomes clear. Signs of a Narcissistic Friendship 1. They Have a Superiority Complex No matter what you accomplish, they find a way to make themselves seem better . They constantly try to outshine you , downplay your wins, and make sure you never feel like you’re on their level. They might say things like: “Oh, that’s cute for you, but I’m aiming higher.” “I mean, anyone could have done that.” “I’ve been doing that for year...

I do not consider anyone a friend who secretly competes with me. Friendship should be built on support, trust, and mutual respect—not an unspoken rivalry. Yet, repeatedly, I encounter people who, instead of cheering for me, are measuring themselves against me. At first, I may not notice it, but the moment I do, my default setting activates: fallback mode . One thing about me is that I refuse to engage in a competition I never signed up for. Competition Among Friends? No Thanks. At my age, I didn’t expect to be still navigating these kinds of dynamics with other women. I thought we had outgrown the need to one-up each other, to compare secretly, to let jealousy creep into friendships. But here we are. The sad truth? Some people don’t know how to just be —they only know how to compete. They are so disconnected from their own authenticity that they base their worth on being “better” than the next person. But here’s the thing: My aura cannot be competed against. I am who I am. I own that...

At 40, she had never experienced love—not real love. She had grown up in a toxic environment surrounded by dysfunction, where love was more of a concept than a reality. She had seen glimpses of what she thought love was, accepted what was given, and convinced herself that it was enough. But deep down, she knew it wasn’t. Year after year, the same script played out in her life, just with different characters. The names changed, the faces changed, but the cycle remained the same. And at some point, she could predict the ending before the story even began. The Wake-Up Call: A Mindset Shift Her pastor always told her, "You have to change your mindset." But what did that even mean? She had no blueprint, no reference for what healthy love looked like. So, she carried on, unaware of the depths of the wounds she was operating from. Until one day, the teacher appeared. It’s said that when the student is ready, the teacher will show up. When she finally reached a point where she was ...

Last month, I dreamed about a relative who had passed away several years ago. It was the first time I had seen her in a dream since her death, and to my surprise, she appeared completely different from how I remembered her in life. She was happy —on vacation, relaxed, and surrounded by loved ones. In reality, this was far from the woman I knew. The version of her I encountered in my dream was free in a way she never was while she was alive. But what struck me the most was who was present with her—my daughter, her youngest, and myself. Her two eldest daughters were missing. Even in the dream, I could feel that the energy was different —lighter, peaceful, unburdened. It was a stark contrast to the reality of the family dynamic she left behind. Then, in the dream, she passed. She simply fell asleep in a chair and never woke up. Processing the Dream: A Hard Truth When I told my daughter about the dream, she paused for a moment before saying something that hit me like a ton of bricks: ...

Recently, an associate sent me a video that stopped me in my tracks. The message? Some people possess a quiet yet unshakable strength—not because they chose to, but because they have repeatedly fought battles in silence, without support. She sent it to give me flowers I never received. She saw what many overlook—the lioness within me, the intelligence I rarely voice, and the resilience I had no choice but to develop. She admired things about me that, for a long time, I resented. The Weight of Always Having to Figure It Out I used to hate how my life forced me to figure everything out on my own. I never had the luxury of calling someone for help, of falling apart and knowing someone would catch me. I longed for: A parent I could rely on when the weight of the world became too much. A friend who wouldn’t use my pain against me. A partner who wouldn’t betray me the moment it was convenient. But that wasn’t the hand I was dealt. Instead, I became my own safety net. And the painful truth ...