Where Can I Find The Healer?

 

Excuse me, where do I find the healer? I am overwhelmed with sadness; I cannot think straight, and my stomach is in knots have no idea what to do with my life. One moment I feel like I am getting a grip on life; the other, I want nothing to do with it. Where is the healer? What direction do I go in to reach where I will find my healer? Please help me! I do not know how much more of this I can take.

 

No one could help me; they just stood there pointing. When I turned around to see the direction everyone suggested, there was no one there.

 

I went on with my head down, hoping to find someone else I could ask for directions. As I traveled, I prayed to God; please help me. Please help me to find my way. I am suffering; this is all too much to bear. I want to die. My soul is not at rest. I am fighting an internal war, and the wounds are crippling me. How much further can I go before it is over?

 

Then I saw signs of life. Maybe they can help me. As I approached them, they stood to greet me. Hello, I am traveling from a long distance looking for the healer. Could you help me find what I need to live? I find myself crying every day. I hide in the shower so that my child won't see me. I can not get out of bed to get any work done most days. If I do not see the healer, I will lose everything.

 

No one could help me; they just stood there pointing. When I turned around to see the direction everyone suggested, there was no one there.

 

I went on with my head down, hoping to find someone else to help me. I am not asking for much, only direction. What seems to be the problem? As I traveled, I had another conversation with God. Why aren't you helping me? Do you not hear me when I speak, when I open up my heart, when I cry at the base of my shower, or when I scream for help? Do you see me burdened with crippling pain? I feel ignored. Will you throw me away as I have been all my life? Please do not leave me to figure this out too!

 

Wrapping up my prayer and wiping tears from my eyes, I saw children playing. They looked at me smiling, so I smiled back. They couldn't imagine what it took to produce a smile. Nothing about me wants to smile. I want to get to the healer and experience the virtue so that all this pain can stop haunting me.

 

While playing with them, their parents approached. I stood and asked whether they could point me in the direction of the healer. I have given up on my dreams, I've been disappointed time after time, and it has gotten the best of me. I feel so alone. I've had to figure it all out on my own. I need some help. I do not have the answers to this. Something is deeply wrong, and I do not want to escape this time. I want to overcome; please point me in the healer's direction.

 

No one could help me; they just stood there pointing. When I turned around to see the direction everyone suggested, there was no one there.

 

I continued in my travels more determined than ever. Everyone is pointing at something, and I need to find out what. When suggesting, they are sure something is there, but I do not see it, so maybe I need to figure that out. Perhaps I am asking God the wrong question. I need to pull it together long enough to figure this out, and then maybe I will travel in the right direction.

 

Along the journey, I came upon a cabin and a lake. I needed to rest, so I sought shelter. I was immediately embraced and given a place to lay my head. Everything was ready as if someone knew I was coming—the warmth of the water as I washed away the pain of not getting help soothed me. Candles filled the room, allowing me to see my shadow. I sat there staring at it, trying to determine how to heal. A picture on the wall of a little girl with her head down reminded me of myself. As I looked upon it, memories flooded my mind of what it was like to be sad as a child. I wept; the tub collected my tears. It filled enough to submerge. There I was under the water with no intention of coming back.

 

That's when I saw my child self. I pulled myself from the water. I gasped for breath as I came to; I could still see her, only this time she was pointing. I wondered why she was pointing too. I asked who are you pointing at when she sat in front of me, holding my hands? She did not say anything, so I asked again, who are you pointing at? My child self hugged me then whispered it was going to be okay.

 

It was time to turn in to continue on my journey well-rested. I had every intention to ask the owner of the cabin direction to the healer upon waking.

 

During the night, I had a dream. I saw an older lady who looked like she could be me in my dream. She was sitting there reading when I approached, and she too began to point in my direction. I told her she was a woman of great wisdom in the dream, and I knew she could help me find the healer. She put her book down and stood up. She began walking closer to me. I did not know what to do, so I stood there. She placed her hand on my heart and told me to breathe deeply. The moment I exhaled, the dream shifted, and I was somewhere else. I could see my entire life as if I was watching a movie. There was always someone there with me that I did not realize. It was a woman, and in every scene, she was there. I had no idea who she was, but she never left my side.

 

I took another deep breath, and I woke up. I got dressed to head out when a woman stopped me in all white with long locs. She asked me where I was going. I thanked her for the stay and told her I needed to find the healer. She said, well aren't you going to ask me if I know where the healer is. I told her no because everyone else just pointed at me. I told her I would ask God, but there was so much going on last night I failed to pray before bed.

She told me to eat, and she would take me afterward. I could not believe my ears; finally, I was going to see the healer. I sat to eat. I wanted to go so bad I ate faster than usual. I am ready to see the healer, I said. She took me to a room with white garments covering furniture. I asked if the healer was here. She said yes. The healer has been close the entire time, but you were not resting to see. What do you mean, I asked? She told me, my beautiful child, you are searching for something outside of yourself when it is in you. So, the healer is in me, but how? Wait, so everyone was pointing at me, not past me. Yes, she said. They informed you that the healer was within, but you were not aware because your mind is filled with beliefs that healing is outside of you. Your younger self and older self were connecting with you, pointing you back to yourself. You are in a low vibrational state they call depression, but you can change that.

 

I have put it all in you; all you need to function in this realm—all you need for this experience. Do not allow your mind to get the better of you. When you leave my presence, no longer search for the healer because you have found her. Unpack every step of the way until you reach your higher self. Resources will be made available as you need them. You got this. 

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