Unaltered Voices

  According to Webster, they define overwhelm as overcome by superior force or numbers. Just reading that definition was triggering as I recalled the times, I was so overwhelmed with life I wanted nothing to do with it. When we go through things back-to-back, it feels like they bury us in them. It’s hard to resurface when we need help to figure out where to dig. The best advice I can offer is to dig. The more we dig, the more we see the sunshine; once a way of escape has been made, don’t stop there. We must evaluate the forces, determine how they sunk their teeth in us, and create a plan to navigate those circumstances. From personal experience,  assessing the damage helps us to grow. Every time we experience weather we are not used to here in Louisiana, there is always a plan in place, just in case we experience it again. It may catch us by surprise the first time, but we are ready to get through with ease the next time. The same way the city learns from the previous difficu...

  In my upcoming book, The Coaches Connect Volume II , I talk about some of the different emotional setbacks (disappointments) we experience. We may not realize it, but this one sets us back when we have expectations of people, and they do not come through.   Initially, I had the mindset that friends and family are not your target audience, so don’t expect them to support you. After some deep reflection, I had a shift in my thinking concerning this. A journal entry helped me to realize that I made this excuse to avoid facing how I felt about not being supported. My feelings surrounding this topic had deep roots, and it took some time to surface the origin of this thought process.  I can stand in my truth today and say that the support I longed for from my family I never received, and it wounded me greatly. I put myself in a position to not attain my dreams to avoid anyone not showing up. After some time, I did things here and there, but I did not share too much with ...

  I know what it is like to set a goal to have it crash and burn. I was a pro at throwing in the towel; it could have been my profession. I knew how to go through the motions and pretend I was accomplishing I would have been a great actor. Every year until several years ago, I set goals at the beginning of the year and worked on them until something triggered me, and I spiraled emotionally. I could not get a grip on why things were not working out. At one point, I almost adopted the mindset that God had another door, avoiding taking a deeper look at myself. If you have been following me for any time, you have read my story of self-sabotage and how destructive my mindset was. So, I speak from experience when I tell you that shaking back is possible. If you try to make the changes, you can accomplish your goals. Reaching the mark may be delayed, but it's not denied unless you refuse to do the work, but not if you take steps to overcome what's hindering you. I remember I used to h...

  I rarely begin my post this way, but why not? Let's do an activity together. Think about your 2022 until this point. If each month represented a difficulty you faced, make a list of them. For example: ●       January-Lost, my job ●       February-Child support payments ceased ●       March-Someone hit my car ●       April-I got a minor break ●       June-Found, a new job, catching up on bills ●       July-Still trying to catch up ●       August-Almost there By now, you get the picture. In your journal, write each adversity and how you handled it. If you run from it, own that. Was your response healthy (mentally, emotionally, & physically), or did more mishaps occur because of your reactions?  For each month/challenge, write out your feelings. Pour your heart on paper, telling the who, what, when...

  When I think of lasting change, I think about the thing I desire to change, having an effect for a long time. I have made changes in areas of my life, but the change did not last. While I was ready to do better, I fell off at some point. Once I began to go within, I learned why I could make some changes and why it was easy for me to fall back into old patterns. The change had not taken root. Because there wasn’t a good foundation to build, I returned to how I did things before. In most cases, I would be triggered and respond the way I did before, which brings me to my first point. Healing is necessary to create change that continues to exist.  Yes, I am talking about healing. You should know me by now, and  I'll talk about it until we get it. Once we heal the triggers, the old ways of responding can no longer hinder us. Recovery involves learning what is interfering with you and creating a plan to overcome it. Yes, make a list of your limiting beliefs and invest in a co...

  You Touched a Wound!   I looked up the etymology of offense, and it read, “wounding the feelings of, or displeasing, another.”   Have you ever wounded the feelings of another person? Did you know you could hurt feelings and not know it initially? They won’t tell you they will start moving differently.   Or maybe you are someone that is offended by everything. If so, you are in a lot of pain that you should process. The offense will come, but it does not have to feel like someone penetrating an already sore wound.   I used to get offended a lot. Offenses caused me to walk away from people prematurely, give up on my goals, and fall into depressive states. It was terrible, but when something offended me, it triggered a wound. When those wounds opened, I responded the same way I did when I first experienced the circumstance that caused the injury.   My life was a sinking ship. My self-esteem was low; I did not believe in anything I did. I ...

  Proceed with caution   No one disrespects a small business like our own people. What is so weird about that is that some of the main ones have small businesses. I see why people would instead hit a clock than deal with the foolishness. I do both. I am an employee and a business owner, and I did not want to do either in the last few weeks. I took a break, and I still felt all over the place, so rather than thinking too far ahead, I decided I would do this one day at a time.   If you are like me, you have done the hard labor of implementing systems you teach others to do for a fee, only to have others book your services to copy your designs. It is much later in the session you realize the agenda. The lack of individuality of people who copy content without giving credit is a pain in my ass. Imagine them copying so much that they forget to change your link. It is sad. Money has been spent on marketing and branding for others to take it and book clients using your w...

One minute you are up; the next, a trigger has sent you into an emotional decline. When the rollercoaster ride is over, you feel you can go no further. Or is that my experience? Let's be honest with ourselves; we cannot live like that in a world of constant reminders of people, places, and things that may not hold pleasant memories in our minds. Do you expect emotional catastrophes every time, or will you put in the work to heal? These episodes do a lot of internal damage you may not realize, so let us do some inner work before things get worse. Have you heard of inner work? Maybe shadow work is a term that is familiar to you. They are the same and will require healing the part of you that did not get the care and attention you needed. It is your inner self that learns to survive after experiencing trauma. Please be gentle with yourself and show compassion. If you beat yourself up about things, more than likely, you treat others the same. I posted on my Facebook page a few weeks...