You Are Not A Sacrifice!
Have you ever wondered why you stayed somewhere longer than you should have? I was thinking about this a couple of months ago. I have stayed in relationships far longer than I should have, and I kept asking myself why. Out of the blue, I heard the answer, and it made so much sense. Most of us are conditioned to believe that to love and be "loyal" means sacrificing yourself for others' shortcomings. If you have been in church any length of time, you are familiar with Jesus dying on the cross for our sins. If you are in the Christian community, you are aware of Jesus being the savior of a sin-sick world. This construct has taught us that this is love, right? We believe that we are to express love sacrificially, so we bear the weight of another person's behaviors towards us as a measurement of our love and loyalty. On an unconscious level, many of us are not aware that we are acting like Jesus. You are NOT Jesus!!!
Here we are in another situation causing hematidrosis, a
condition in which capillary blood vessels that feed the sweat glands rupture,
causing them to exude blood. Yes, like Jesus did in the Garden of Gethsemane. Hematidrosis
occurs when too physically or emotionally stressed. I have experienced this
type of stress in working relationships and intimate, but I stayed because walking
away was not God, and my faith was considered weak. Choosing myself meant that
I was not faithful; because Christ laid down his life, it meant that I too had
to lay mine down. I may not have sweated blood, but the monthly hemorrhaging
grew worse. Our bodies have a way of telling us when to get off the cross, but
we do not listen. We go back and forth because we think we are someone's savior,
so we remain in situations that will bring us to near-death experiences before
we come down. I am starting to believe
religion shuts down the side of our brains, where we think logically, but that
is another blog.
Here we are, on the cross, with the power to come down, but
we refuse because that would make us a quitter. We have been verbally,
emotionally, physically, sexually, and spiritually abused, yet we fail to come
down. The crying out every night to God, why is this happening when we had the
choice to enter, and we have the option to exit. People blame God for not
removing the nails from their hands to free them from across; they chose to
bear at an alarming rate. We have taken charges, fought other women, pulled guns,
and ran people over, yet we refuse to come down. We have borne children, raised
them mostly on our own, yet we refuse to come down. How much should a woman
take before she comes down, or should she stay and give up the ghost? We are
praying, asking God, "why have you forsaken me" as if we possess no
power to come down. This is a question one would ask when they have no idea how
they got in their position. We have completely given up our ability to make
decisions because we are waiting on God to tell us everything. Does God ask us to brush our teeth, take a
bath, eat when we are hungry, go to work, or pay the bills? Do we pray before
we put gas in the car when we are empty to make sure it is okay? Why do we do
so when we know we need to stop sacrificing ourselves for people who won't lay
down their lives for us? We have lost so much of ourselves staying in situations
too long it takes twice as much time to restore.
Before writing this article, I recalled something someone
shared with me. Many years ago, I spoke with a lady who told me she forgave her
abusive husband because God had forgiven her of so much wrong she had done in
her life. I recall thinking, what have I gotten myself into because this is not
adding up. I was new to the Christianity
scene, and in my mind, I wondered about a God who would be okay with abuse.
Something seemed displaced, but at the time, I could not put my finger on it.
That was not the best story to share with someone new in the faith. I could not
fully understand her reasoning, but as I thought about situations I chose to
stay in, I found I wasn't different from her. I nailed myself repeatedly to crosses I should
have never given myself over to. Once I started Christianity, it only became
worse because now, I felt like to not suffer was not God's will. It is a dangerous
position to be in when we have taken a book translated by women-hating, pedophilic
men to live by. Have you ever read the
Willie Lynch Letter, the beginning of the book honors King James? Have you researched King James? Since this
letter, we have been under significant attack, and it has proven its power thousands
of years later. If I told someone the
Bible was used to enslave our people, somebody would label me a heretic, but I
digress. Read your Bible, but read and decode it properly.
If you feel your relationships have been one crucifixion
after the other, it may be time to unplug from the matrix and evaluate some
things. This is not to say growing
together with people will be easy, but you should not feel depleted with every
encounter. If you feel reduced to a state you are not naturally in, it is time
to come off the cross. If you feel a
part of you dies, then you are on a cross; you should not be on. Try crucifying
these thought processes and resurrect a mind that is not fragmented. We have
lost the ability to think. 1+1=2, but we are so conditioned that if someone
else in some authority position says it is 4, we are going with it. It is okay to unlearn to learn. We have so
much clutter holding us back; it is ridiculous. Piles of junk we have been
taught that is not serving us. Honor your foundation, but it is time to grow up
in our thinking. The recent pandemic
should have taken us all to a level of thinking that would change our lives, but
most of us spent more time whining over not going in a building; we missed that
the Kingdom is within. It's time to come off the cross.
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