Why Affirming Your Children is Important
This type of deprivation takes an emotional toll on a person. It wounds the child, and the child never grows up emotionally. At the age of thirty-one, I may have been eight years old emotionally. Trauma repeatedly arrested my development. Once I started healing, I had to plead my case concerning several offenses. Healing is continual, so continually, I am awaiting my time in court to get free.
Internally, I kicked and screamed for love, appreciation, encouragement, and an end to cycles of disappointment. At times, I pulled it together enough to achieve a goal here and there but still nothing. What was taking place internally only attracted more people that would do the same to me. I found myself in cycles of being what everyone needed to gain their support, only to have them in some way attempt to destroy me. Hearing other family members’ children told the things I desperately longed for sent me spiraling. Everything seems to go up in flames. Those moments were triggers for me, and I knew I needed to heal, but at the time, I did not know how or if that was a possibility. That feeling of not being good enough created a path that took me years to sever. I was not too fond of that road; it cost me a lot. I felt like I was repeatedly dying as I finagled through life needing support and never receiving it.
The wounds I experienced made every decision for
me. My life was a ball of disappointment. I did not think anything better was
my portion. The suffering went on silently. I withdrew to the point of suicidal
thoughts plaguing me. I became so much to so many, but no one saw that I was
dying inside. I hid pain under whatever I had to at the time. These things
started in my childhood and followed me until I sought help. Affirming our
children is crucial because it helps children develop positive foundations on
which to grow. I had no foundation, so with
every wind, I was tossed. I did not know
who I was, nor did I have any direction, so I repeatedly took the wrong course.
What we say to our children makes a huge difference. Do not affirm them
negatively by saying they will never amount to anything, then get amnesia when
they struggle in life, leaving you no bragging rights. Parents, we lay the foundation. We set the
tone. As our children grow up, they will encounter situations that may make
them doubt who they are, but the moment they hear your voice in the background encouraging
them to go forth, it breaks the cycle of self-sabotage. Children who lacked
encouragement may not be able to bring themselves out of such situations as quickly.
Let’s collectively start equipping our
children to be warriors. It is time to unlearn to learn, apply, and reapply. We
got this!
Thank you for reading my story. If it touched
you, please share it with others on your platforms. I can now help other
emotionally deprived adults break the cycle of stagnation in their lives
through cognitive-behavioral techniques. Schedule a clarity call with me today to
pull you out and set you on course.
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This is heartbreaking yet profound and Triumph!
ReplyDeleteI am so glad I am in a place now where I can share my story and not hide because of what I have experienced. I understand now that once we heal, we can package what we have experienced and it becomes our message. I hurts to think about any child growing up and never affirmed. Generational healing has to take place and I am just the one willing to get it done.
DeleteOh wow, this really touched my heart! You never know what someone is going through, you continue to help and build others up and yet carried this heavy burden. I'm grateful to God that you are healing and now able to heal others!
ReplyDelete