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Rising Again: How to Get Up When Life Keeps Knocking You Down

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Last year, during a period of deep reflection, I found myself thinking about one recurring theme in my life: I have continuously gotten up after being beaten down, time and time again. I’ve been beaten down by family who should have protected me. By so-called friends who turned their backs when I was no longer useful. By the church, where I once sought refuge but instead found judgment. By relationships where I gave my all, only to be discarded. And in my career, where my value seemed conditional—appreciated until it wasn’t. At one point, I felt like I had a target on my back. No matter what I did, it seemed like the moment I was no longer beneficial to someone, I was cast aside. The sting of writing these words reminds me just how much I’ve endured. But more than that, it reminds me of how much I have overcome. How Do You Rise When Life Beats You Down? One step at a time. One foot in front of the other. Even when it feels like the weight of it all might crush you. There was a time whe...
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Love Lessons: What Heartache Taught Me About Myself

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Love has a way of teaching us lessons we weren’t ready to learn. Some of them are beautiful—like the joy of deep connection, the comfort of feeling understood, and the warmth of shared laughter. But others? Others come wrapped in pain, forcing us to confront parts of ourselves we never knew needed healing. I’ve learned that love isn’t just about who we choose—it’s about why we choose them, what we ignore along the way, and whether we are truly ready for the love we say we want. The Red Flags We Ignore Become the Pain We Endure Hindsight is always clear, but in the moment, we often silence the little voice inside that tells us something isn’t right. We brush off inconsistencies. We excuse their lack of emotional availability. We justify behaviors that don’t align with our values, convincing ourselves that things will change, that love will soften them, that maybe we are the problem and just need to be more patient and understanding. But ignoring the truth doesn’t make it disappear—it...
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Breaking Free: How I Unlearned the Need to Prove Myself

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  For years, I lived in a cycle of chasing validation from people who never saw me— really saw me. The adults in my life never believed in me, never encouraged me, or made me feel like I was capable of anything worthwhile. Instead of accepting their perception of me, I worked tirelessly to prove them wrong. I took the initiative to do things beyond my years, things I thought would finally make them look at me with pride instead of indifference. I wanted them to say, Wow, look at what she did! —to acknowledge that I was good at something, that I had value. But instead of validation, I was met with scorn. Every attempt to prove myself led to disappointment. They yelled at me, belittled me, and made me feel small for trying. The very people whose approval I so desperately sought were the same ones who tore me down the hardest. And yet, their rejection didn’t stop me from trying. I kept going, year after year, getting hurt in ways that left deep scars. It took me a long time to reali...
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The Truth About Destiny Swapping: How Some Men Steal Your Energy & Leave You Drained

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  I had never heard the term destiny swapping before, but everything clicked once I learned what it was. What Is Destiny Swapping? Destiny swapping occurs when someone siphons another person’s energy, success, and drive, slowly taking on their best qualities while leaving them depleted. It happens subtly, over time, and often by those closest to us. While both men and women can do this, men seem to get away with it more easily because society often enables them to take, take, and take without accountability. We already know that women are the creators of life, but what’s not often discussed is how powerful our energy truly is. It’s the force that nurtures, builds, and sustains. And unfortunately, some men recognize this and seek out thriving, vibrant, and emotionally strong women—not to love them but to become them. My Personal Experience with Destiny Swapping I was thriving—mentally, emotionally, financially. I loved life and loved myself. Then he came along, and I thought this ...
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The Power of Rain: Releasing the Tears We Hold Inside

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  "My tears are the rain when I cry." During a powerful prayer, my herbalist spoke these words to us, and they immediately resonated with me. I thought about what rain does—how it nourishes the earth, brings life, and cleanses. Then I thought about what happens when I cry. Rain is essential to the Earth’s water cycle. It replenishes rivers, sustains plant life, and washes away debris. Too much or too little rain can create an imbalance. Droughts leave the land barren, while excessive rain leads to flooding and destruction. Our emotions work the same way. We create an emotional drought when we suppress our tears, refusing to release what burdens us. We become hardened, unable to grow, unable to feel. We push forward, pretending everything is fine, yet inside, we are cracked and dry, longing for relief. Without release, stress builds, tension lingers, and we find ourselves disconnected from our emotions. But when we cry and allow the rain to fall, we cleanse ourselves. Tears ha...
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Hotel Chaos: A Lesson in Red Flags and Resilience

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PSA: If someone believes lies about you without seeking clarity, they do NOT like you. Period. I’ve learned that I don’t owe explanations to those who are quick to assume the worst. Whether it’s family, coworkers, friends, or even former church members—they can stand on whatever narrative helps them sleep at night. My actions have been consistent, and that’s what matters to me. This story is about a situation I found myself in—one I had nothing to do with—and how it helped me recognize a repeated pattern in my life. The Job That Should Have Been a Red Flag For a brief time, I worked at a hotel in the city. The day I walked in to inquire about open positions, I was hired on the spot. In hindsight, that should’ve been my first red flag. At that time, I was in a difficult place emotionally and financially. I needed a job desperately, and I wasn’t getting much support from anyone, not even those in my own household. I was expected to fix everything, yet when I was broken, no one had the t...
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The Placeholder Diaries: When You're Just an Option

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Recognizing that I was a placeholder was disheartening. How did a man put forth so much effort only for me to discover he was waiting for his ex to take him back? I was hurt and felt as though I had accepted this behavior once too many times. He checked every box I desired in a mate and a few extra things my then-relationship coach taught me to look for. I even asked how his last relationship ended but concluded it was his answer I did not fully dissect.  I should have noted the answer or his body language when asked. I did not clock the tea, so I was caught off guard. Fast forward, I am dealing with the same thing but in a platonic relationship. I recall the breakdown between this person and one of her other friends, but I did not know to be on guard like I would now in my romantic relationships. I had no idea I could be a placeholder in a friendship, too. I rarely open myself to friendships, considering what I have experienced at the hands of women. Still, I did and ended up sitt...
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