Unaltered Voices

Recently, an associate sent me a video that stopped me in my tracks. The message? Some people possess a quiet yet unshakable strength—not because they chose to, but because they have repeatedly fought battles in silence, without support. She sent it to give me flowers I never received. She saw what many overlook—the lioness within me, the intelligence I rarely voice, and the resilience I had no choice but to develop. She admired things about me that, for a long time, I resented. The Weight of Always Having to Figure It Out I used to hate how my life forced me to figure everything out on my own. I never had the luxury of calling someone for help, of falling apart and knowing someone would catch me. I longed for: A parent I could rely on when the weight of the world became too much. A friend who wouldn’t use my pain against me. A partner who wouldn’t betray me the moment it was convenient. But that wasn’t the hand I was dealt. Instead, I became my own safety net. And the painful truth ...

Yes, I know that sounds strange. How can someone doubt you, dismiss you, and even dislike you—yet, when life turns against them, they look to you for help? I can use my own family as an example. They have never supported me. In fact, it took me until my thirties to fully accept that they don’t even like me. And yet, when they needed someone to listen, someone to guide them, someone to save them—I was the first person they called. The Hypocrisy of Their Need After my grandmother passed, suddenly, I became the one they all turned to. The very people who doubted me, who never poured into me, who made it clear I wasn’t “going to amount to anything” needed me. They needed my strength, my wisdom, and my presence. But they will never admit it. They won’t acknowledge the harm they caused because doing so would mean facing the truth of how they treated me. Instead, they pretend it never happened, hoping I will forget too. Hoping I will put my hands out to pull them up, despite the fact that t...

I recently dreamed about boundaries, which gave me a deeper understanding of their importance. In the dream, I was in my home, hosting guests. To my surprise, some of those guests had invited their own guests—without my permission. Feeling overwhelmed, I stepped away to gather myself before addressing the situation. But when I entered my bedroom, I was shocked to find someone lying in my bed . Immediately, I confronted the relative who had invited them. I firmly stated that not only was it inappropriate to bring people into my home without asking, but allowing them into my personal space—my bedroom—without my consent was utterly unacceptable. The room fell silent as I spoke, and then an older man, whom I didn’t even know, chimed in to call me toxic for asserting my boundaries. That’s when it hit me—this relative had been discussing me with these people, which explained why they felt entitled to disrespect my space. Family and the Lack of Boundaries One of the hardest lessons I’ve had...

Are you someone who struggles to open up? And when you finally do, you're met with people who listen just to respond rather than to understand . If so, you’re not alone. I encountered this so often that I eventually stopped sharing my personal business altogether—at least, not in real-time. Instead, I only talked about my experiences after going through them, processing them, and healing. This was not because I didn’t want support but because I realized that many people aren’t genuinely listening to help; they’re listening to compare, judge, or satisfy their curiosity. The Danger of Sharing with the Wrong People At this stage in life, I’ve learned that no good advice can come from someone who isn’t happy in their own life. It’s a harsh truth but a necessary one. Many of us are surrounded by people who present themselves as put together, yet their lives are in complete shambles behind closed doors. You start to notice this pattern when they finally get comfortable enough to share t...

We all have an emotional closet —a place where we stuff the pain we don’t want to deal with, the disappointments we pretend don’t matter, and the heartbreaks we tell ourselves we’ve moved on from. At first, we think we’re managing just fine. We push things aside, pack them away, and keep moving. But over time, that closet becomes so full that one day, it bursts open—and when it does, the damage spills over into every part of our lives. The Weight of Unacknowledged Pain When we refuse to acknowledge our pain, it doesn’t just disappear—it festers. It seeps into our thoughts, our relationships, our bodies. We might find ourselves easily irritated, emotionally exhausted, or distant from our loved ones. Physically, stress from unprocessed emotions can manifest as headaches, fatigue, high blood pressure, or even chronic pain. Ignoring what hurts us doesn’t protect us—it slowly destroys us. And the longer we pretend we’re fine, the heavier that emotional load becomes. What Happens When the Cl...