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Faces of Grief

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       New Morning, New Mercies, Recommit     After losing both of my grandmothers and an aunt last year, I realized that grief was a strange place. In addition to physically losing them, I had to withdraw my energy from several. If 2023 were a chapter title, it would be “Dark Night of the Soul.” I was tired and no longer cared if I talked to certain people, and masks began to fall off faces. I accepted where I was and the red flags I pretended were not red that ultimately held me back. By the end of 2023, I had curated a plan to move forward and navigate life differently. I needed to step back, recalibrate, and begin again.  My paternal grandmother passed in January 2023. I was figuring out a lot about my personal life during that time. I realized who had my best interest at heart and determined what I would do about it. It was a lot going on. Her passing caused me to think a lot about my life and the legacy I wanted to leave behind. Grandma Gus was a great woman; we had many conversa
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Taking Your Power Back

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  ARE YOU READY TO TAKE YOUR POWER BACK? I need you to have that enough is enough anger when you say this because I am serious. Before we get too deep, if you want to know what people mean when they make this statement, I will explain it in one sentence. Having an understanding makes this declaration even more powerful. So here goes when you regain your power, you face your wounds and deal with them .   ●   It means you are not allowing the pain to darken you but taking steps to heal and become a better version of yourself. No one will have the power to gaslight you because you have established boundaries and built confidence. You have taken your control back. ●   It means you have identified your triggers and are working on unpacking them. You have stopped complaining about what happened and have rewritten the narrative. ●   To take your power back means not allowing anyone else to silence you.   If we do not do the inner work, the pain still holds power to dictate every move we
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The Pits I Dug

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  I contributed to a book about the pits I landed in due to how I responded to life’s challenges. How I responded became a detrimental habit I fought to break free from. I was destroying my life from the inside out. Life was grand when things were good, but emotional turmoil was my portion when the toxic pattern kicked in.   While journaling yesterday, I thought about my pit experiences. Yes, experience (s). There were many, some I dug for myself. One author in the same book referenced above talked about how she stayed too long in terrible relationships. As I journaled, I cried, thinking about how my decision to remain in spaces longer than needed caused great mental and emotional calamity. Yes, I experienced abuse mentally and emotionally. I experienced betrayal trauma, but the red flags were clear before getting too deep. I had dreams; I heard song lyrics and even had a few messages warning me, but I overrode my intuition. My gut screamed to run the other way, but I stayed.  
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Saving The Little You

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  I have a few questions for you. Once you have answered, then continue reading to learn why I asked.   Are you a self-sabotaging? Do you get in your way? When you go through things, is the way you cope unhealthy? Is your self-esteem low? Do you struggle in your relationships with others? Have you experienced depression?   So how did you do? Take out your journal and write your feelings about your responses to the questions.   Your response determines if your inner child needs healing. They say, "no child is left behind," yet we always leave them behind.   1.     The you that was bullied at school and home. 2.     The you that went without food. 3.     The you that experienced physical abuse. 4.     The middle school, you experiencing a nasty divorce between your parents.   5. The 16-year-old you so in love experiencing heartbreak; she needs to be saved too. They all need to be saved!   At each stage, you experienced adversity that shaped how you feel about yourself; t
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Pathway to Acceptance

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  In my next book, I will share how I overcame rejection. Rejection is a topic many deal with that starts in childhood and continues to linger into adulthood. We find ourselves excluded by our loved ones, only to affiliate with groups and organizations that further reject us. We want to fit in so badly that we unknowingly give offthat scent. When the sharks smell blood, game on. They welcome you initially, make you feel safe, then you open up and talk about your pain points to have those same pain points used to break you further. The sharks are capitalizing on your fear of rejection, knowing you would do anything to belong. Once they are done with you, you have more wounds and are worse off than you started. Every time this happens, the teeth sink deeper. Pulling them out of the gash to get help frightens you even more because you could bleed to death, so you let them stay, pretend you are okay and find another situation to get in, repeating the cycle.   Just as we need food and w
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When We Forgive, Do We Forget?

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  Is forgiving someone and forgetting the pain they cause possible? Can you honestly say when you see them, there are no sensations in your body at all? People always say, just let it go, forgive and forget, and don't block your blessings, but what are they saying? By definition, forgetting means failing to remember or neglecting to bring up. So what is being asked of you when you hear these statements is to let it go and not mention it again.   Unless we suffer from some memory loss, there is no way we will not remember how someone made us feel. You can push it so far back into your mind thinking you have broken free, but that diabetes result is a sign that your body kept score. I am not sure where this forgive-and-forget stuff started, but when we understand better, we see it is manipulation at its finest. Family members are notorious for telling people to let something go because they do not want to be held accountable.   I am sure I lost some people at diabetes, but here is the
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Psychologically Unsafe Living Environments

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  "My living environment began to get highly toxic and uncomfortable to the point where I cried a lot, was angry with myself, and was in a state of depression." -Brittany D. Jackson   I felt this! I could relate to the author as she detailed how hard it was for her to live in one toxic environment after the other. These environments take a toll on us mentally and emotionally, making it difficult to trust others. Suppose you have ever felt extreme anxiety, low self-esteem, worthlessness, or feeling drained being around certain people more than likely. In that case, you are living in or have lived in an unsafe environment. Most of us have, at some point, experienced these living conditions at an early age in our childhood homes.   I grew up in psychologically unsafe living conditions. There was access to designer things and everything else to look good on the outside, but the internal structure was in shambles. I could not wait to get out on my own; there was no reason for me t
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