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The Closure Scam

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We’ve all heard the phrase, “I just need closure.” But if we’re being real, closure isn’t always what we think it is. I recently wrote that the only closure you need is the sound of the door closing as they’re on their way out. And I meant that. Because sometimes, “wanting closure” is just a dressed-up way of saying, “I’m not ready to let go.” We say we want answers, but what we really want is one more look, one more text, one more chance to change someone’s mind. Let’s call it what it is — the closure scam. The truth is, closure rarely gives you peace. What we’re actually chasing is control. We want to make sense of someone’s choices, their betrayal, their silence. But closure doesn’t come from their explanation; it comes from your acceptance. I say “we,” but I really mean you. Because I’ve already accepted the fact that the way someone psychologically violated me was my closure. It took me a while to understand that closure isn’t a conversation; it’s a conclusion. It’s not what they ...
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The Stillness That Saves You

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There’s something divine about water. It reflects both peace and power, calm yet capable of chaos. But there’s a truth about water that mirrors life perfectly: Our bodies were made to float. The only time we drown is when we panic. When we thrash, fight, and forget what we’re made of, the very water that could have carried us begins to consume us. It’s not the depth that destroys us; it’s the fear. I’ve learned this not only through my own journey but also through what I wrote about in The Coaches Connect II: A Guide to Navigating Adversity. On the cover, I chose raging waters intentionally. They symbolize the storms that come for us all. Whether it’s heartbreak, betrayal, financial struggle, grief, or the weight of expectations, life has a way of testing how long we can hold our breath. But here’s the revelation: you don’t have to hold your breath, you have to breathe. You have to fill your lungs and let the same air that gives you life help you rise. Just as water will lift you wh...
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The Year of Deconstruction: Freeing Yourself From Conditioning

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As we prepare to step into a new year, I want to challenge you with something radical: leave everything you’ve been taught in 2025. Yes, everything. Even the things you thought were “good enough.” Even the beliefs that feel safe because they’re familiar. Even the traditions you’ve clung to because you didn’t want to let anyone down. Start new like a painter facing a blank canvas, brush in hand, ready to create a masterpiece. The truth is, many of us are navigating life unsure of who we really are because our conditioning has left us conflicted. We don’t want to hurt this person or that person, but in the process, we’re the ones carrying pain. We keep upholding teachings, traditions, and beliefs that keep us small, stuck, and silent. But if those very patterns have been breaking you, it’s time to let them go. This next chapter of your life requires you to: Sit with yourself in silence. Trust your higher self and the Spirit of God to guide you. Welcome new downloads, even when they shak...
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Why They Downplay Your Voice

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There’s a particular kind of dismissal that cuts sharper than an outright insult. It’s the moment you speak truth and someone shrugs it off, only to embrace that very same truth once it comes from another mouth. It’s not that they couldn’t understand you. It’s that they chose not to. This is what it feels like to be underestimated. To have your insight discredited, not because it’s wrong, but because you said it. You can say birds fly , and they’ll argue they swim. You can present wisdom, and they’ll label it opinion. But let someone else repeat it, suddenly it’s fact, suddenly it’s brilliant, suddenly it’s gospel. This kind of dismissal disempowers in ways we rarely name. It teaches you that your words don’t matter, that your knowing isn’t valid, that you must wait for others to verify the truths you already hold. And if you let it, it can silence you, make you hesitate, question, shrink. But here’s the truth they don’t want to acknowledge: their refusal to see you does not erase you...
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When Power Is Taken, Doubt Moves In

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Many people live with a quiet heaviness, the sense that they are not enough, not worthy, or not capable. This heaviness often wears the name imposter syndrome. We’ve been taught to think of imposter syndrome as personal insecurity, but what if it is not really about us at all? What if it is about the ways we’ve been conditioned and disempowered since childhood? Imposter syndrome doesn’t come out of nowhere. It’s born in spaces where voices are silenced, where talents are overlooked, where worth is tied to approval. Many of us were raised to second-guess ourselves because someone in authority, such as a parent, teacher, partner, or even society itself, taught us that our power was too great, our voice too loud, and our confidence too intimidating. This conditioning is subtle but cutting. When you grow up being told to shrink yourself, to wait for permission, or to prove your value over and over, doubt becomes second nature. So when opportunity knocks, when you succeed, or when you step...
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Mourning Her, Becoming Me

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  Is it normal to mourn the version of me that no longer exists? To scroll through old photos and see the spark she carried, the fire in her smile, and wonder where she went? Although my flame is returning, there was something about her that died with the relationship that cracked her open. She didn’t end in destruction she awakened. But still, I miss her. Why do I miss her if I am better now? Why do I cry if she had to go so I could grow? Why am I grieving the one who settled, the one who silenced her own truth, the one who broke beneath the weight of what she thought was love? I think of her often. I wish I could offer her to someone else, untouched, unscarred, still shining in her innocence. It feels like her time was wasted yet without her choices, without her pain, I would not see life as I do now. She is both the reason for my tears and my awakening. I miss her, but I know she cannot return. It is time to release her, to honor her for the le...
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