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Dear Ms. Bell,

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Dear Ms. Bell, I’m not sure if that’s the correct way to address you. I didn’t know then, and I still don’t know now. What I do know is that I was only in the second grade when you added to a level of trauma I didn’t yet have the language to explain. My grandmother was a different kind of woman. She believed in presentation. She believed in care. She believed in showing up in the world in a way that reflected dignity. She dressed well. She smelled good, always. Even in death, when I washed her body for the last time, I made sure she carried a scent I knew she would love. That’s how deeply I associated fragrance with love. With care. With pride. And then there was you. You changed the way I felt about something as simple as smelling good. You didn’t just embarrass me, you disrupted how I viewed myself and the intentions of someone who loved me deeply. Because of my home life, I didn’t tell anyone. Partly because I didn’t fully understand what had happened. Partly because silence was som...
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How One Parent’s Lies Can Rewrite a Child’s Reality

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There is a conversation I had with a young woman that hasn’t left me. She was in a relationship she knew was unhealthy, but she was holding on. Not because she didn’t see the truth, but because she was afraid. Afraid her children would hate her if she left. I asked her a simple question: “Why would your children hate you for choosing yourself?” And that’s when she told me her story. As a child, she despised her mother. Not because her mother abandoned her. Not because her mother didn’t love her. But because her mother chose herself. Her mother left a man who mistreated her and moved on with her life. And her father? He told her he couldn’t be in her life anymore because her mother had someone else. As a child, she didn’t understand manipulation. She didn’t understand ego. She didn’t understand avoidance or accountability. She only understood one thing: “My dad is gone… and it’s my mom’s fault.” And that belief took root. Even when she acted out, he didn’t show up. Even when she neede...
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“When Loyalty Becomes a Liability”

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Nature has already shown us how to survive the next season of our lives. The problem is that most of us refuse to follow its example. Some time ago, I watched an interview with Travis Greene that has stayed with me ever since. I can’t remember the exact source now, but the message never left my mind. During the conversation, Travis shared that God led him to research trees. It was about the fall season and why leaves fall from trees. Most people simply see leaves falling and think nothing of it. But the explanation behind it carries a lesson most of us overlook. He explained that trees have enough wisdom to recognize that some things they are connected to will prevent them from thriving in the next season. Leaves fall because the very leaves that once gave the tree life, nutrients, energy, and support in the previous season will begin to take life from the tree if they remain attached into the next season. What once sustained the tree can eventually become a drain on it. That statemen...
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